This is Sal the Seal’s Self-Reflection.

As many of you know, Sal the Seal is an important part of the family. She originally lived in LaGuardia Airport at the bookstore near the foodcourt. I discovered her in June 2011 and brought her home to my mom who was in hospice. She’s had many life experiences with her friends and family. She’s got a cheeky sense of humor, a spirit of fun and a love for adventure.

Sal asked today if she could share with everyone some of her favorite life moments. As Sal has flippers, she has let me know that she could not readily type this post herself. Therefore, I’m her scribe today as she dictates to me. She said sometimes some have taken her at face value without knowing her, so she’s providing commentary on things she herself has said in the past.

On the environment…

“Oil spills in my habitat are no bueno but flavored-oil spills onto bread have my seal of approval.”

My favorite olive oil for bread is persian lime. Don’t ask me why – it just tastes good.

On the weather…

“When it’s raining cats and dogs, I ask my owner where the seals at.”

I prefer a light intermittent rain with the sun peaking out the parting clouds. And a rainbow. Definitely a rainbow.

On friendship with Gramps…

“Besties.”

We’re both balding. We embody salt and pepper minus the pepper.

On travel…

“Are we there yet?”

The best part is when someone packs for you and carries you, too.

On dieting…

“I scream, you scream, we all scream for…carrot, celery, ginger, apple smoothie?”

Where’s the full-fat cream?

On life struggles…

“You try holding chopsticks with flippers!”

I say, dive in head first.

On mascots…

“Official New York State Seal.”

Can a seal date Andrew Cuomo? Asking for a friend…

On affection…

“I’m not fishing for compliments, but did you miss me? Don’t be so koi, just give me a cuttle.”

Best pun master. Flippers down.

On mooching…

“Heard what the Knights were having for dinner, so we may have crashed their fish + chips party.” 

I’m part Australian, okay?

On escape rooms…

“You got me into this sticky (rice) situation!”

I did not sign up for this. Wanna crack open a few of those leaf wrappers? Let’s feast.

On saudade…

“It’s been over one month since you’ve heard a seal…I mean squeal…from me! Did you miss me?”

I may joke around, but inside I’m just a sentimental seal.